Sunday, September 22, 2013

No Fat Chicks

Less than a year = 56 pounds less
#nofatchicks

Maybe you've seen my #nofatchicks posts on Facebook and don't know the full story, maybe you do know the full story but curious just exactly what I've done... whatever the case, I hope this blog is helpful and motivates you.  I've tried multiple times to start this particular blog and I always get stuck, because I feel as if I still have so far to go and because I struggle putting into words that "magic secret" that many have asked for throughout my Facebook posts. 

On October 19, 2012, I spotted a newly placed sticker on my husband's jeep.  It read "No Fat Chicks."  We were separated at the time and going through divorce.  Throughout our marriage, I was up and down with my weight.  He did after all impregnate me not once, but twice.  ;)  Like most women, I had a hard time losing that excess baby weight and was too busy being a mom to focus attention and time on ME.  When I saw that bumper sticker on his jeep, it did something to me.  At first, it hurt.  I felt like it was a personal attack on me and my weight issues.  Then, I got angry and it motivated me to start what I refer to as the No Fat Chicks Diet.  I was bound and determined to gain my confidence back and what better way than to become the smoking hot wife he married once upon a time.... IN YOUR FACE?!   LOL (Me and my ex really have a decent friendship at this point, but these are the thoughts that went through my head at the time.)  


This is the picture I took on October 12, 2012, and posted on my Facebook page, 
in addition to the bumper sticker itself.  If I couldn't lose weight instantly, 
I at least wanted to be a proud, confident, and attractive "fat chick."  
So many friends and strangers commented on this particular picture, 
giving me even more motivation to no longer be a "fat chick."  


I had tried many diets before and tried exercise through gym memberships, DVD's, you name it!  Nothing stuck.  For those that know me, it's no surprise that diets didn't work for me.  I'm a picky eater!!!  If forced to completely change the things I eat, I would no longer enjoy eating at all and there's no way anyone can stick with that for long.  So what do you?  I'd always heard people say, eat less and exercise more.  A-HA!!!  So I can eat exactly the same food, but less of it?  And if I'm not exercising at all, just walking once a week for 30 minutes is more, right?!  That's exactly how I started my diet.  Just a little at a time.  I noticed results instantly.  Pounds were falling off on a daily basis.  I started out by just refusing to allow myself seconds.  You know that homemade spaghetti that's just so good you have to get a second plate?  Nope, fight the urge!  It worked and I wasn't hungry.  So after about a month of this, I started putting less on my plate.  About 1/4 less than my usual portion size.  Since I did this gradually, again I wasn't hungry.  I now eat about 1/2 of what I used to consider a portion size.  This is all I need.  It's all I ever needed.  And since I allowed my body to get used to this over time, I'm - not - hungry.  I'm still eating the same foods I've always loved, so I really don't even consider myself on a diet.  

Fast forward to March... 30 pounds were gone!  (That's 30 pounds in 6 months!)  This is really when I incorporated exercise.  I'm limited on what I can do because of back problems, due to 3 car wrecks during this same timeframe.  I found that I actually enjoyed the scenery at Shakespeare Park.  I enjoyed being outside, listening to my music, and it gave me time to allow myself to focus on ME.  Walking 1 mile took me about 20-25 minutes.  It's easy to find 30-minutes just 3 days a week.  Push yourself a little more each time, whether that be walking that mile in less time or adding another 1/2 mile to it.   

How do I keep myself motivated?  My ex and I now get along fine and I've learned that the No Fat Chicks bumper sticker actually had nothing to do with me... (still a poor choice, in my opinion).  However, it was much needed inspiration in the beginning.  To keep myself motivated at this point?  I go  back and look at "before" pictures and pictures throughout my progress.  Today, I look in the mirror and just see how much more I want to lose.  I see my problem areas.  Sure, my old clothes fall off of me, but it's hard to feel like you've accomplished anything when you can't appreciate how far you've come.  I literally have to go back and look at old pictures to notice the difference.  I started an album on Facebook titled "No Fat Chicks" and have posted my progress along the way, as well as older pictures of how big I truly was before.  You know, those awful pictures that I vowed no one would ever see?!  Be sure to celebrate every time you exercise, every pound you lose, and every size you drop!   I continue to post check-ins with many of my workouts on Facebook with the hashtag #nofatchicks.  Or I'll check-in while purchasing new jeans in a smaller size, again with the hashtag #nofatchicks.  My Facebook friends have been a huge support system throughout this past year and are quick to "like" my #nofatchicks check-ins, posts, and photos.  Many of these friends have posted supportive comments and sent messages telling me how much of an inspiration my journey has been.  This is why I continue to share my story.  I've shared many personal details about my weight, my struggles, and my divorce and learning how to live a single life in an effort to help someone else going through the same things.  At times, you all have kept me focused just by sharing how my story has helped you.

To sum all of this up, there is no "magic pill."  There is no "secret trick."  The secret is just - do - something!!!  Find something that works for you.  Yes, losing weight and keeping it off is a lifestyle change and I'm nowhere near done with this journey.  But if you make that lifestyle change in baby steps, it won't be nearly as hard.   


                   

Yours Truly, 
Tara Tiffany #nofatchicks #56lbs

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Relationships require work, happiness does not.

It's amazing how much things can change in a year.  Last year at this time, I was driving around in Chris's brand new jeep, finishing up last minute Christmas shopping, and thinking that there was still a chance my marriage would work out in my favor.  This year, I wouldn't be caught dead driving that jeep with a certain bright yellow sticker on it.  This year, I've come to accept that I have no marriage.  We're still technically married, but this has not been a marriage for almost 2 years... and really much longer than that when I think long and hard about it, which I don't allow myself to do anymore.  It's over.

A friend sent me a quote tonight that really speaks to me and where I'm at in this process right now.
"It feels amazing when you finally realize that you no longer need or want the person who walked away from you."
People have told me all along that I would get to this point, that I'm strong, that I deserve better, that one day I would thank him for walking away first.  Those were always just "the things people say to make you feel better."  They were right.  

When this process started, he not only broke my heart, but he also stole my smile.  I LOVED HIM.  I was comfortable with my life, this is all I knew.  It was safe and it worked.  How could I be happy without him?  I've come to realize that my "happy" wasn't so happy after all.  I fought so hard to hold onto what I thought was my happiness - my marriage - him - only to realize that this thing I had come to know as happiness, it was really just me trying to make someone else happy.  And this person that I had worked so hard to make happy, he wasn't even happy!  And what's more... he didn't even appreciate the fact that I was working that hard to make him happy.   I deserve someone to work that hard for me. In fact, no one should have to WORK to be happy.  Relationships require work.  Happiness does not!  It takes YOU.

He is not responsible for your happiness.  You WILL learn how to smile again, and it won't be one of those fake smiles that you've gotten to know so well without even realizing it.  It will be a smile that makes you feel warm inside.  A smile that can repair that broken heart of yours piece by piece.  A smile that someone else will eventually fall in love with.  It's okay for you to be happy.  It's okay to be selfish.  It's okay to NOT put your happiness aside for the sake of someone else.   You won't truly move on until you realize these things.

Back to that bright yellow sticker I mentioned at the start of this blog... I'll explain just how important that sticker is to me in the next one.  ;)




Monday, December 10, 2012

It's not much, but it's me

I, in no way, think that my experiences in life have been more meaningful than yours.  I've simply been told that I have a way of pinpointing that exact emotion, that feeling in the spur of the moment, and putting every bit of it into words that leave you nodding your head in agreement and remembering a time in your life when you felt exactly that same way.  I've always enjoyed writing - poems, thoughts, memories.  Most of these have been kept to myself, because my writing is personal.  It's real.  It speaks to me.

Currently, I'm a separated mom of two, in the process of re-creating and finding myself.  "Adult Tara" has never known an "adult life" without being someone's wife, someone's mom, someone's something.  Today, I write as just me.  I'm learning how to be just 'someone' and not 'something to someone.'  Many of my friends find themselves on this same road and if the power of my words can help them, I can hope to help you as well.  We can walk this road together.

I leave you with my feelings for this day.  It's amazing when you finally find yourself on the other side of the fence in the middle of a divorce.  It's an empowering feeling, knowing that this person no longer holds so much power over your emotions.  

He had changed me.  I knew I was scarred for life.  This kind of hurt leaves a mark.  What I didn't know was how long it would take that scar to heal.  Every time I saw him, it was like someone had peeled back the scab on an old wound.  The sharp pain cutting through to my very core, making me question again who I once was and who I thought I had become.  This time was different.  This time, I saw him for what he was - perhaps for what he always had been.  A friend.